This is a recurring scenario…

A client will send me a picture from Instagram or show me something they’ve saved on Pinterest.

I love this look. 

This is how I want to dress.

There is something effortless about this that I can’t seem to achieve. 

And I’ll look at the picture and in my head be thinking…

You already own this outfit.

Maybe not the exact pieces in the image… but the ingredients are in their wardrobe.

The trousers are hanging right there. They have that shirt. There’s a jacket that does exactly the same job. They’ve got the loafers, the knit, the jeans.

So what are they seeing in that photograph that they’re not seeing when they look at their own clothes?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot… 

Because this has been happening to me. I scroll on NAP and see a look I love and think I have that in my wardrobe why am I scrolling….what is the thing I am actually searching for.

We don’t necessarily know what the thing is. We just know that when we see an image, we recognise it.

So we look at what they’re wearing and assume the thing must be the clothes.

Because when we think we don’t have style, or feel an itch of dissatisfaction, what we actually mean is that we haven’t quite worked out how to bring ourselves to our clothes.

 

Look again at the images you save.

I bet there’s nothing particularly extraordinary about what the person is wearing.

A shirt and a pair of trousers.

Jeans, a knit and a coat.

Things most of us have some version of already.

But there’ll be something about the way they’ve put it together.

The sleeve has been pushed up rather than left neatly at the wrist. The shirt is tucked in, but not perfectly. There’s a flash of an unexpected sock. The trouser is sitting slightly differently over the shoe. The collar is up. Something has been layered in a way you wouldn’t immediately have thought of.

Tiny things.

Almost insignificant things.

Except they’re not.

Because those little decisions are often where the person appears.

They’ve taken the clothes and done something with them.

And then there’s the other part, which is harder to pin down.

It’s the way they’re wearing them.

There’s an ease… an intention. A sense that they’ve put the clothes on and decided, yes, this is how I’m wearing this today. This is who I am. 

They’re not waiting for the clothes to make them stylish.

They’re bringing the energy.

 

And I wonder how often we mistake that energy for something we can buy…

We see a photograph and think, I need those trousers.

But do we?

Maybe what we actually want is the nonchalance with which she’s wearing them.

We think we need the jacket, when perhaps what caught our eye was the way she pushed the sleeves up and wore it with something unexpected.

We think we want the outfit.

But what we’re really responding to is the person inside it.

And that’s quite an important distinction.

Because if we keep attributing style to the clothes, the answer will always be more clothes.

Another purchase. Another saved image. Another attempt to recreate the thing exactly. If you keep believing that the thing exists somewhere outside your wardrobe, you’ll keep searching for it.

But not only that, our perspective of ourselves becomes more about the outside than the beautiful symbiotic relationship of the internal and external working together.

Alchemy? Maybe.

Achievable? Definitely!

 

You may already have everything you need.

Perhaps your clothes just need a little more of you.

A little more play.

A little less concern with wearing things the way they’re “supposed” to be worn.

Roll the sleeve. Put the smart trouser with the old trainer. Wear the unexpected sock. Button something differently. Change the proportions. Put the old canvas tote with a tailored suit. Add the thing that feels slightly odd and see what happens.

Not because these are rules for looking stylish.

Quite the opposite.

The point is to start making decisions.

Because style, to me, isn’t simply having good clothes. That’s the baseline.

It’s the relationship you have with them.

It’s taking something fairly ordinary and wearing it in a way that says something… however quietly… about the person inside.

So the next time you save an outfit on Pinterest or Instagram, try not to immediately ask:

What is she wearing that I need?

Look again.

And ask… What are they doing with what they’re wearing?

And then go to your own wardrobe.

Because you might discover that you already own the outfit.

The only thing missing from the picture was you and how you want to wear it.

 

Have a great week,

Penny.

P.S. This is why my work has never really been just about the clothes. I help my clients understand themselves better, so what they wear starts to feel instinctive rather than something they have to work at. But I also help them see what’s next… to move their style forward as they evolve, and create a wardrobe that has the space to evolve with them. Because the clothes should never be the thing holding you back. Book a call so we can help you reconnect with you. 

Photo credit: Elle.com Dior SS27 Show launchmetrics.com/spotlight.